As a childminder, one of the most valuable skills you can nurture in children is self-regulation. This essential ability supports school readiness and lifelong wellbeing. Parents often ask, “Why does my child struggle to listen, concentrate, or manage big feelings?” The root cause is often the development of their self-regulation skills.
What is Self-Regulation and Why is it Important?
Self-regulation is the ability to manage emotions, behaviour, and energy levels in socially acceptable ways. It’s about pausing before reacting, calming down after excitement or frustration, and staying focused during challenges.
In early childhood, self-regulation supports:
- Healthy relationships with peers and adults
- Problem-solving skills
- Effective learning and attention
- Resilience in the face of challenges
When children self-regulate, they transition smoothly between activities, manage frustration without meltdowns, and adapt to changes. Without it, they may display challenging behaviour, have trouble focusing, or become overwhelmed by minor setbacks.
Signs a Child May Be Struggling with Self-Regulation
In a childminding setting, difficulty with self-regulation often appears in subtle but consistent ways. Emotional outbursts over small issues, like a toy being unavailable, are common signs. Children may also seem not to listen, not due to defiance, but because heightened emotions or energy levels prevent focus.
Other signs include bouncing between activities without settling, reacting strongly to transitions, or displaying social challenges like grabbing toys or refusing turns. Some may withdraw or act out in noisy environments. These behaviours communicate a need for support in managing emotions.
How Children Develop Self-Regulation
Self-regulation is learned through co-regulation first, where adults provide a calm presence, model positive responses, and offer consistent emotional support. Activities in childminding settings play a key role in teaching these skills.
Activities That Support Self-Regulation
1. Playdough – The tactile nature of playdough calms children, improves focus, and offers a non-verbal outlet for emotions.
2. Book Reading – Storytime teaches stillness, listening, anticipation, and emotional connection, all vital for self-regulation.
3. Walks – Outdoor movement helps release energy, reset moods, and prepare for calmer activities.
4. Sand Play – Encourages focus, patience, and impulse control through shared tools and activities.
5. Painting – Allows children to express emotions through colours and movements, fostering confidence and emotional processing.
6. Yoga – Helps children connect with their bodies, notice stress signals, and release tension.
7. Dance – Provides a fun outlet for energy while teaching self-control through start-and-stop games like “freeze dance.”
8. Breathing Exercises – Techniques like “flower breaths” teach children to regulate emotions quickly and effectively.
The Childminder’s Role
Childminders are active co-regulators, modelling calm behaviour and teaching strategies children can use for life. For example, if a block tower falls, saying, “That didn’t go as planned, I’ll take a breath and try again,” demonstrates healthy responses to frustration.
Balancing active and quiet activities, offering choices within limits, and practising patience through games all help children develop self-regulation. Secure relationships are key too; feeling safe and valued encourages children to trust guidance and manage emotions.
Supporting self-regulation isn’t about expecting perfection but giving children skills to navigate emotions, behaviours, and relationships independently. From storytime focus to joyful dancing, every moment can nurture calm, confident, and resilient learners.