Childminding is a deeply rewarding profession. We help shape young lives, provide comfort and care, and support children through their early years of growth and development. But while we’re busy meeting everyone else’s needs, it’s easy to lose sight of our own emotional well-being. The truth is, childminding can be emotionally exhausting and that’s something we don’t talk about enough.
As someone who works in childcare and is also trained in coaching and therapy, I’ve come to realise how vital it is to support the mental health of childminders. We’re not just managing children’s behaviour and planning activities, we’re emotionally invested in the little people we care for. And that emotional investment, over time, can become a heavy load.
The Invisible Emotional Labour
When people think of childminding, the first things that often come to mind are brightly coloured toys, finger painting, snack time, and the school run. It’s an image full of fun, play, and cuddles, and yes, those moments do exist and can be truly rewarding. But what’s less visible, and far less talked about, is the emotional labour that underpins everything we do.
Behind the scenes, childminding requires a deep level of emotional presence and resilience. It’s soothing a crying toddler who misses their parent, while simultaneously reassuring the others and keeping the morning running smoothly. It’s staying calm and connected when a child is in full emotional meltdown, without taking their outburst personally; even if you’re feeling exhausted yourself. It’s the delicate art of navigating difficult conversations with families, whether it’s raising concerns about a child’s development or discussing behaviour, all while remaining compassionate, professional, and composed.
This kind of emotional effort can’t be measured in hours or invoices. It doesn’t show up in inspection reports. It’s the quiet work that happens between the lines: the emotional regulation, the patience, the constant awareness of everyone’s needs, and often, the quiet suppression of our own. It’s invisible, yet constant.
Because this labour is so embedded in the work, many of us simply absorb it as part of the job. We might not even realise how much we’re holding, emotionally, until it starts to take a toll. Over time, without space to process or sufficient support, it can lead to emotional fatigue, a kind of deep tiredness that doesn’t go away with just a good night’s sleep.
You may start to notice the signs gradually: feeling more drained at the end of the day than usual, becoming easily irritated by small things, or struggling to be as patient or playful as you once were. Perhaps you find it hard to fully relax after the children leave, your mind still whirring with thoughts about the day, what went well, what didn’t, or what you could have done differently.
These are not signs of weakness or failure. They are human responses to the emotional demands of a job that asks so much of us. And yet, this kind of emotional labour is rarely acknowledged, not by society, and often not even by ourselves.
It’s important to name this aspect of the work because recognition is the first step toward support. When we begin to understand that childminding is not just physical or practical work, but emotional work too, we can start to make space for our own well-being within it.
Working Alone Can Feel Isolating
Unlike those working in nursery teams or schools, many childminders carry out their work entirely alone. From the moment the first child arrives in the morning to the time the last one leaves in the evening, you’re not only the educator and carer, but also the cleaner, cook, admin assistant, and emotional anchor, often without a colleague to turn to when things get tough.
That sense of professional isolation can sneak up on you. At first, it might seem manageable, even freeing. You get to make your own decisions, plan your space the way you like it, and care for children in a personal, home-from-home environment. For many, that autonomy is what draws them to the role. But over time, being solely responsible for every aspect of the day, without a team to lean on or bounce ideas off, can take a toll on your mental and emotional well-being.
There’s also the emotional weight of working in silence, or near-silence, not literally, but in terms of adult interaction. You might go entire days without speaking to another grown-up in a meaningful way. When something difficult happens; a safeguarding concern, a child who’s not settling, a confrontation with a parent, there’s no colleague nearby to debrief with or help you carry the emotional load. It all sits with you.
This isolation can lead to feelings of self-doubt or even imposter syndrome. Without regular feedback, encouragement, or shared experiences, it’s easy to question whether you're “doing it right.” A challenging day can feel heavier when there’s no one else to put it into perspective. You may start to internalise struggles that are actually very common, simply because you’re not hearing that others are facing the same things.
Moreover, working from home blurs the boundaries between personal life and work life. Your place of rest is also your workplace. The kitchen table becomes the planning station, and your living room doubles as a play area. There’s little physical or mental separation, and this can make it harder to mentally switch off; especially when the house still carries the noise and mess of the workday even after everyone has gone home.
There’s also a unique type of emotional strain that comes from being the “everything person” for the children in your care. You’re not just managing behaviour or leading play, you’re holding space for their emotions, offering comfort when they’re sad, supporting their confidence, and noticing all the subtle changes in their moods and routines. That kind of consistent presence and emotional attunement is rewarding, but without the presence of peers or support structures, it can leave you feeling emotionally depleted.
What makes it even more challenging is that these experiences are often minimised or misunderstood by those outside the profession. Friends and family might not truly grasp what a full day of childminding entails, or how isolating it can be. They might think it’s "just babysitting," or assume that working from home is relaxing. But the emotional reality is far more complex.
To protect your mental health in this solo-working environment, it becomes essential to proactively build connection and support.
Burnout Is Real- But Often Hidden
Because childminders are often nurturing, dependable people, we may not always notice the signs of burnout in ourselves. You might feel guilty taking time off, or think that everyone else is coping better than you are. But burnout can affect anyone, especially those in caring professions.
Some signs to watch out for:
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Constant tiredness, even after rest
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Feeling emotionally numb or detached
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Irritability or low patience
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Dread about the workday ahead
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Difficulty enjoying the parts of the job you used to love
It’s important to know that these feelings are not a sign of failure, they’re a sign that your emotional cup needs refilling.
So, How Can We Lighten the Load?
There’s no magic fix, but there are ways to ease the emotional weight of the job. Drawing on coaching and therapeutic tools, here are a few ideas that can help.
1. Practice Reflective Time for Yourself
Reflective practice is not just about improving your professional skills, it’s also a tool for emotional processing. After a tough day, take a few minutes to write down how you felt, what challenged you, and what helped. Perhaps keep a small notebook just for this. It allows you to offload and make sense of your emotions, rather than carrying them into the next day.
2. Build a Local Support Network
Reach out to other childminders in your area. Many local authorities or councils have childminding networks or groups, both in person and online. These groups can be a lifeline. Sharing your experiences with others who understand can reduce feelings of isolation and validate what you're going through.
Some early years teams even host regular support meetings, CPD (Continuing Professional Development) sessions, or coffee mornings. If you're not sure where to find these, contact your local Early Years team through your council, they are often more supportive and approachable than we give them credit for.
3. Learn to Regulate Your Own Stress
Through my therapy background, I’ve found that small, daily tools for self-regulation make a big difference. This might mean:
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Taking three deep belly breaths before dealing with a challenging situation
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Pausing to ground yourself by noticing five things you can see
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Gently stretching or stepping outside during nap time for a few moments of air and clarity
It’s not always easy to prioritise yourself, especially when you're used to putting others first. But small acts of self-care build emotional resilience over time.
There Is Help Available
If you’re struggling, it’s important to know that support is available. In the UK, there are several mental health services and resources specifically for those in caring professions. These include:
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Mind – offering mental health support and resources nationwide
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Samaritans – available 24/7 if you need someone to talk to
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Education Support – a UK charity supporting the mental health of education professionals, including early years practitioners
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Your local Early Years team – who can guide you to local networks, mentoring, or emotional wellbeing sessions
Some councils also offer access to wellbeing coaching or short-term counselling as part of their support for registered childminders. It’s worth asking, even if it feels like a long shot.
You’re Not Alone
Perhaps the most important thing to remember is that you are not alone. So many childminders feel this emotional load, but we often hide it behind a smile or keep pushing through, thinking it’s just part of the job. But just because it’s common doesn’t mean it’s healthy.
On another note, being emotionally invested in your work is not a weakness, it’s a strength. It shows you care. But even the most caring among us need space to recharge.
If you're feeling overwhelmed, please speak to someone. Reach out to your network, your local childminding group, or your council’s early years team. There is strength in asking for help, not just for yourself, but for the children who rely on your care every day.
Childminding is more than just a job it’s a role that requires deep emotional presence, patience, and dedication. But to care for others well, we must also care for ourselves. By recognising the emotional load we carry, and taking active steps to support our own mental wellbeing, we create not only a healthier environment for ourselves, but a more nurturing space for the children we care for.
So take that break. Make that call. Reach out to your network. You deserve support just as much as the little ones in your care do!